Afraid of How the day will go? take control of your wedding day with a wedding timeline

your wedding day timeline. It’s like magic!

I have taken the time to create an in-depth, step-by-step example timeline for all #CBPBrides, but since you’re here, have a look through it. It’s incredibly valuable and it will help you understand an example timeline if you are either doing a first-look or a non-first look timeline.

As you look through all of that, just tweak it as you see fit to make your wedding day flow as you want it to.

Wedding pro hack: Before anything else, figure out your ceremony time. Personally, I would recommend somewhere close to 5:00pm. This time would have your ceremony over by roughly 5:20-5:30 pm, the cocktail hour over by roughly 6:30pm, and your dinner served no later than 7:00pm. With this, you are still having you and your guests eating at a respectable dinner time, nobody is starving, and you aren’t having the ceremony too early either and having your lighting conditions be super poor.

On that note, it’s important to say that if you are having an outdoor ceremony, it’s strongly recommended that you do not have your ceremony any earlier than 5pm. While there are a lot of variables to take into consideration, the best light is traditionally later in the day. Do what you can to avoid that harsh overhead light.

If you have any control over where your ceremony is taking place outside as well, try to place your ceremony location where the sun will be directly behind the officiant’s back. This will give you the most flattering light for your ceremony photos.

Should you hire a wedding planner or stick with your venue coordinator?

Okay, so this subject is a bit of a controversial one depending on who you chat with, but you are here reading this ultimate wedding resource guide because you want the real opinions from my decade of experience. So, let’s get into it. I am not going to hold back.

  • Wedding planners: Worth their weight in gold. They are amazing – when you hire the right one. That said, egos and attitudes can run rampant. Find a planner that has the experience that can do the job right, and do it the way you want to do it. Not how they want to do it. And don’t let a planner tell you that you can’t have a wedding for under a certain dollar number. You can get married for the cost of a marriage license at the courthouse if that’s what it takes. Just find someone that you really respect based on the quality of weddings they produce, the reviews of their customers, and the personality they have throughout the experience. Do your due diligence. If you would like recommendations on the best wedding planners I know, I can certainly send you a short-list.
  • Day-of wedding coordinators: If you do not have the budget for a full planner, a day-of wedding coordinator should be your next best thing. Just please hire a pro and not your aunt who was ‘formerly a planner in a previous life’ or someone who ‘plans a lot of parties, so this should be the same thing.’ No. Just no. Your wedding day is a special day, and you want someone there by your side as your go-to person for all those questions that will come up. And as a day-of wedding coordinator, they can help manage those million moving pieces on your behalf so that you can just sit back and relax on your wedding day. And a professional day of coordinator will be one step ahead of those million moving pieces because they have seen it all before – and often.
  • Day of coordinator versus venue manager/coordinator: Okay, so this is another big one. A venue manager/coordinator is not the same thing as a standalone wedding coordinator. A venue manager/coordinator is a person who is going to manage the events of the venue and to help ensure the venue details are set up as you wish. That said, the venue manager/coordinator will not be checking in with you on the morning of your wedding day, helping answer questions for you regarding hair and makeup or help you figure out solutions to problems at multiple stages of the day. That is, that’s my experience with venue managers for the most part. That said, standalone day-of wedding coordinators are much more hands-on with you throughout your day, and they can work seamlessly alongside the venue manager. They can work well as a team.
  • Final thoughts: I strongly urge you to think about having a wedding coordinator for your wedding day. They don’t have to be expensive, but they can certainly be incredibly helpful in creating a proper wedding timeline, helping you with your wedding rehearsal, answering tons of questions, helping ensure a smooth wedding day, and helping a multitude of other tasks and responsibilities throughout your wedding. They’re worth it.

Your wedding timeline & advice for different times of the year

Spring

In Lower Connecticut, it can be rainy one day, it can be sunny the next, and it can seem like the world is going to flood the day after that. The weather forecasters are notoriously wrong, so just be aware of the weather conditions this time of year. It can get crazy quickly. But if you have the right attitude, it can still certainly be absolutely gorgeous. I have personally photographed many, many weddings in Spring time and the high majority have been very lucky to have sun and warmth. And because they chose an off-season date, they got off-season rates. So, they saved money too! Just have those clear umbrellas handy in case the rain comes, and run with it. The wedding photographs will be gorgeous no matter what with the right photographer. The biggest thing that makes a gorgeous photograph is a happy couple and a great attitude. If you have that, you’re golden no matter the time of year.

Summer

The most popular dates for Connecticut, New York City, and The Hudson Vallery weddings are in summer, hands down without question. And because of this, you have to book early. Don’t delay in booking your wedding photographer if you are truly wanting to book specific wedding professionals. I don’t mean that to sound like I am pressuring you at all, but it’s the real truth. The most popular wedding professionals are booked early, so don’t delay when booking your wedding team.  It’s best to have a few dates in mind, contact your desired wedding photographers before booking your venue, and then doing your best to try and book those two main things nearly simultaneously. After that, things are seemingly easy to take care of. Because now those two most important things are locked in and taken care of. The rest is an easy street, especially when you have the right wedding pros on your side.

If for whatever reason that peak Saturday you want is already taken, you should consider having a Friday or Sunday wedding. Personally, I had a Friday wedding and absolutely loved it – and so did all of our wedding guests. Everybody loved the excuse to take a long weekend to themselves and come help us celebrate. Everybody showed up. And because we got married on a Friday, we saved money. It was a real win-win. (Note, not all wedding professionals will offer discounts for weddings on non-peak days, but it’s certainly something for you to consider as you plan your wedding day.)

If you are planning a summer wedding, take into consideration the heat, your clothing options (3 piece suites in 90-degree weather aren’t so comfortable), and other weather-related

fall

I love fall. The air is crisp, nobody is sweating profusely, the trees are turning oranges, reds, and yellows, and it’s just a beautiful time of year. Honestly, I think it’s my favorite season. It’s cuddle season!

winter

Plan for early portraits. And since you will most likely want to keep your ceremony time to around 4 or 430pm, that means you will have more flash photography involved in your wedding day and not a lot of those light, bright and airy photographs you might find all over Pinterest. And you know what, that’s totally okay! With the right photographer, you will still get plenty of those early on in the day before the sun goes down. And then you can cuddle up with your husband by the fire during your reception, make some smores, have a bourbon, and dance the night away. If you are planning a winter wedding, my advice is to go all out with that winter aesthetic. Really play it up! Even look for wedding venues that might be covered in snow. Snow is a gorgeous thing to photograph and it looks pleasing in nearly every scenario. It’s super romantic, very unique, and incredibly beautiful. I love Winter!

Now, let’s talk about your wedding day and how to get the most out of it

The morning and getting ready

It’s finally your wedding day! WOOHOO!

By now, your wedding day details should all be figured out. And on your wedding day, there’s a few basic things to help your day get kicked off on the right foot.

  • Set the expectations with your bridesmaids that you are going to want to relax on your wedding day and you are going to want their help in achieving it (in a nice way, of course – haha)
  • Have your bridesmaids hang the wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses somewhere great before your photographer arrives.
  • Have wood hangers or special-designed hangers for the dresses.
  • Have your invitations, jewelry, shoes, and any other wedding day details set aside all together for your photographer to grab as soon as they arrive.
  • Have a bottle of champagne and champagne glasses available for some toast shots, and think about having a secondary bottle there that’s a bit lower cost so you can shake it up & pop it! It makes for a really awesome photo, and it’s worth the $10 bottle you can get at the store! Do it!
  • Consider having matching robes for those cute getting ready photos.
  • Decide early on who you want doing up the back of your dress. It saves from a tough decision on your wedding day. (Hack: If you can’t figure out one single person, you can have multiple people doing up the back in different stages).
  • Have whoever is doing up the back of your dress (mom, etc) get in their dress prior to helping you get in yours. You want them looking on point for your photographs.
  • Get your manicure and pedicure done a day or two before your wedding day so all those detail photos are looking fantastic.
  • Decide if you would like to do a “first look” with your dad after you get ready.
  • Once you are ready, it’s a wonderful opportunity to exchange gifts, read a card from your significant other, etc. It’s a beautiful moment that can be full of emotions.
  • Don’t put your jewelry or shoes on until after you have your wedding dress on.
  • Have your bouquets delivered to where you are getting ready so that they are all ready to go for your first look and wedding party photos.

And now that you are ready, dressed, and excited for the next step… what exactly is next?

The first look

The old tradition was to see each other for the first time as you walk down the aisle. The new tradition is to have a “first look.” And if you aren’t sure what a first-look is, it’s simply seeing each other prior to the ceremony. And there’s tons of benefits with having your timeline set up with a first look, and it’s why I strongly recommend it.

Having a first look is super beneficial primarily because it allows you to spend your cocktail hour with your friends and family. If you didn’t do a first-look, you wouldn’t be able to enjoy the cocktail hour because you would be out taking photos. Additionally, it’s a great way to calm those wedding day jitters before the ceremony and have more of a shared experience through the day with your significant other. Additionally, you will feel less rushed through your wedding timeline. And if you’re wondering if it’s any less emotional than seeing each other for the first time as you walk down the aisle, I would say that it could be even a little more emotional based on all the first-looks that I have photographed over the years.

Why, you ask? Because it’s way more intimate and you don’t have 100+ people also looking at you as you’re seeing each other down the aisle.

Me personally, I had a first look, and I am so glad I did. I was a nervous wreck, and seeing my wife before the ceremony put all my nerves at ease and we absolutely loved spending that time together.

And yes, when I saw her walk down the aisle, I was still just as emotional as I would have been if I didn’t see her during that first look. It was still just as special, and she looked absolutely stunning. I can remember it as if it was yesterday.

On top of all of that, having a first look gives you the opportunity to take even more photos! And that’s always an awesome thing.

I could go on with so many other benefits, but these are the main perks.

things to think about

There are a lot of moving parts to a wedding day, so I hope that this wedding resource guide is as helpful as I claim. I don’t want anything left off the table when you are putting your details together, especially when it comes to your wedding photography.

So, there are a few more things we should chat about. Here they are:

  • Build in a cushion into your timeline. Sometimes, things can get a bit delayed with hair and makeup. Or with any other number of things. So, building in a cushion of about a half an hour can be a total game changer. And if your day goes off without a hitch and there are no delays, you now have a half an hour to catch your breath before the ceremony and take in all the small details and/or take a few more portraits. Win-win.
  • Let’s talk bridal bouquets. The very traditional route is to go all-white. I do not recommend you do this. An all-white bouquet actually does not photograph as well as a bouquet with a contrasting color. A white bouquet against a white dress simply looks a bit bland in most photographs, and you can lose some of that detail. So, toss in a bit of color that goes along with your wedding theme.
  • Travel time/logistics. If you are getting ready at one location, then going off to another for portraits, then to another for the ceremony and reception – build in time for traffic, parking, getting things together, fixing hair and makeup, and simply because you don’t want to feel rushed on your wedding day. Ever. Build in time for traffic, unplanned construction, car accidents, sports games, parades, you name it. If it can happen, I’ve seen it. Especially in downtown environments. So, plan for it.
  • Hair and makeup. Brides should be getting ready second to last or very last. This way, your hair and makeup is looking on point right before your first look and portraits.
  • Getting in your dress. I will coach you on exactly what to do. Just have an area cleared by the largest window in the room/house for you to get ready in front of. Those big windows/doors will be your best source of light for your getting ready portraits.
  • A veil is a great option for photographs. So, even if you aren’t thinking of a veil in the traditional sense, it adds another layer for potential photo opportunities.

The ceremony

  • Have a sign or announcement that asks that guests keep cell phones off and away during the ceremony. It happens way too often where a guest leans into the aisle or stands up in the middle of the ceremony to take photographs of their own from an old cell phone or tablet. And when they do this, they become the attention grabber. They can even get in the way of the best angle for those photos as you walk down the aisle – and instead of seeing your face, you see a cell phone. Nobody wants that.
  • While ceremony details can feel important, when you stand up there, it’s like you have tunnel vision. Your adrenaline is pumping and your excitement is through the roof. Everything around you is secondary to the person standing in front of you. The person you are about to marry. So, those ceremony details are more for your guests than anything else. Don’t get overly caught up in it. Have a beautiful floral display at the alter and be present in the moment. Your wedding party will be your detail. That’s honestly all you really need, in my opinion.
  • Your processional. Cue the romantic music, the string quartet, or the pump-up jams. Pick something that is your personality. Have fun with it. Make your day uniquely you. That’s what it’s all about.
  • Your officiant. This topic can go one of the multiple ways, but I have seen all sorts of personalities with officiants. Please meet with them prior to hiring them, or at least have a Skype session or something similar to where you can e-meet them. Just something that helps you understand their personality. Are they overbearing? Are they too controlling? Are they too into the details about how you stand, where you look, what you do, etc? If so, run and find someone else. They will pass it off as them helping you, but it’s more stressful than anything. Just find someone who is a great public speaker, someone who can make it personal to you two, and someone you can fully trust and rely on. Everything else can be handled by your planner, coordinator, or whoever is helping you during your rehearsal other than the officiant.
  • Lighting during your ceremony. With most wedding venues, you have no control over the ceremony location. And that’s totally okay. But you do have control over the time of day the ceremony will happen. And if you want the best lighting, opt for the latest time possible before it gets dark. There’s a lot of variables here for the time of year, so if you have any questions over this for your particular wedding day, please just email me and I will be more than happy to assist you. That said, if you do have control over your ceremony location, have the sun be on the back of where your officiant will stand. This will make for the best lighting for your faces as you get married. Plus, it adds a nice hair/rim light. Avoid an early-afternoon ceremony if you want great looking ceremony photos.
  • Consider doing something meaningful between the two of you during the ceremony. You can plant a tree together in a vase/pot, you can light a unity candle, you can do lots of things. Just check out Pinterest and you will see that there are countless ideas.
  • This is the one thing that my wife and I regretted that we didn’t do. We really, really wish that we would have said custom written vows to each other. We didn’t do it because we were so nervous thinking about standing in front of everyone and making a fool of ourselves. But what did we know? We should have done it. And we recommend you do it as well. It’s yet another opportunity to be very open and vulnerable, truly emotional, and it’s a great photo opportunity. If your soon-to-be husband isn’t an emotional guy, this is one of those opportunities where you might finally see him tear up. Writing custom vows is the way to go.
  • Go big with it! Shoot off those gold glitter canons, have bubbles filling the aisle, just do something amazing. It’s where you two will have the biggest natural smiles on your faces, and adding to it with some extra detail would be so incredible. I’ve seen a lot of really amazing recessionals and with some truly unique music to go along with it.
  • I have been to countless weddings where the bride & groom puts in so much time, effort and money in creating gorgeous programs, and no guest cares about them. They just sit there unused and unread. People know what time they need to arrive, and they are sticking around until they get tired. Period. Keep your day simple.

family portraits

It’s important to have a wedding photographer who knows how to handle family portraits like a pro. And by this I don’t mean those portraits that you see in a mall photo studio. I mean someone who knows the best order of operations, a commanding voice to go from one group to the next, and who can choose the best location and equipment to get the job done the best possible way in the fastest possible way. After all, these family portrait times can also feel quite overwhelming to most couples. But, they’re also super important. Your wedding day will be like a family reunion, and that’s exactly why I have designed a totally custom template for all our brides to fill out 3 weeks prior to the wedding day. That way, when the wedding day arrives, I already know exactly what group to call out and how long the family portrait session will take. And in my experience, most family portrait sessions will take between 15-20 minutes in total, but this is totally dependent on the size of each family and how well the guests cooperate and listen.

cocktail hour

After you have completed your family portraits, go enjoy cocktail hour! During this time, I will be staying out of your hair and capturing real moments and real emotions as they happen. This is the time for photojournalism. And if you want any super particular portraits with certain guests, just call me over and I’ll get it done. Easy peasy.

Bride and groom portraits

Depending on the time of year, the end of your cocktail hour might coincide with golden hour. And if so, it’s a great time to escape away for a few minutes for even more portraits. After all, your guests will still be there during your dinner and reception for you to say hello to and these are the portraits that will be hanging on the wall for the rest of your life.

The reception grand entrance

Whether or not you decide to head out for golden hour portraits (I hope that you do), a great way to enter into your reception is with a grand entrance. You can either do this as a couple, or you can go in as an entire wedding party with each pair introduced with a unique introduction. Make it funny and really bring out those personalities! Your DJ may also act as your MC and it’s a great way to set the tone for the evening.

Dinner time

Catering can easily become the most expensive element of your entire wedding day, but know one thing – the guests of your wedding day truly don’t mind what there is to eat as long as it’s tasty and it fills them up so they don’t get hangry. I’ve seen luxury weddings serve cheeseburgers, and the guests were ecstatic with joy. I’ve seen lower budget weddings spend the high majority of their budget on fish and steak for 150+ guests and the guests didn’t even enjoy it. The difference between these two catering budgets: Over $10,000. Your guests are not there for a fancy meal. They are there to celebrate your wedding day and to have an incredible evening with friends and family. The food choices are the least of their concern. Remember, this day is all about you and what you want. So if you want pizza and beer, have pizza and beer. If you want steak, get steak. Just understand that the entire rest of your wedding budget can be eaten quickly by your catering budget – and that you can spend more in other areas (photography, décor, DJ, or even your honeymoon) if you cut back on the catering.

There are two traditional ways of serving dinner to your guests.

  1. Plated dinner. With this option, your guests are all served at roughly the same time and according to dietary restrictions from a pre-planned choice between two options. Typically, the options are chicken or fish.
  2. With this option, guests typically have a few more options to choose from, they can serve themselves according to the amount they believe they will eat, can serve themselves seconds, and usually creates fewer headaches (number of questions from guests). So, which table goes first? Well, certainly not everybody at once. The first table will be the wedding party, followed by the table with the parents of the bride & groom, and then the rest can be fun and determined by games. As an example, you can have your DJ/MC play a trivia game with your guests, and whichever table gets the answer correct first is able to then go up to get food from the buffet. Remember, your wedding day is supposed to be fun!

toast

The timing of toasts depends heavily on if you are having a plated dinner versus a buffet style dinner. But either way, ensure that guests have had enough time to eat, settle in, get into good conversation, and they’ve had a glass of wine or two. Typically, in my experience, this will be about 45-50 minutes after dinner officially started.

Have pre-set toast-makers, and let them know which order they will be in. If possible, try to let them know to keep their toasts to under 5 minutes. Around 3-4 toasters are perfect. Remember, if you have 4 toasters, that is up to 20 minutes of toasts. Plenty.

Another common question of toasts is if you should have open mic.

While you certainly can (it’s your wedding day, after all), open mic can get a bit wild and crazy. You never know who is going to come up and start rambling on about stories you didn’t want them to share, and they might be someone who you simply don’t really want to hear from on your wedding day (blunt but super true). Plus, guests can commonly feel super uncomfortable with the pressure of saying a speech or not. Some even feel guilty if they didn’t stand up to make one on the spot.

Cake cutting

Right after your toasts, it’s a great way to keep the energy flowing by having your DJ/MC to announce that you will now cut the cake. Keeping that energy going is key for your evening! And while your catering staff is cutting the rest of the cake after your initial cut, you head off to the dance floor.

the first dance

Right after you cut your wedding cake, it’s time to dance! Head off to the dance floor and show off your sweet dance moves. Just keep it with your personality. Whether you choose a classic love song or a modern rock ballad, you can’t go wrong with your choice. It’s your day. Make it uniquely you.

parent dances

These dances are so sweet. And they can be incredibly emotional. If you want, you can have these separate and with full-length songs, or you can have your DJ cut the song early. You can also have the option of having these two dances simultaneously if that calms anybody’s nerves.

having fun at the reception

Now that the key dances are completed, it’s time to let loose and party! Your DJ and you by now have chatted about the songs you want, the vibe and mix you want, and the right DJ will do what they do best and keep that energy flowing and dance floor packed. And as with anything, there are many different DJ’s of all types and qualities, and I am more than happy to lend my recommendations.

bouquet & garder toss

While the garter toss isn’t being done nearly as much as it used to, it’s still another option for you to get some more photo ops. And with your bouquet toss, you can either toss your genuine wedding bouquet or you can create a mini replica specifically for the toss! I have seen some brides even snag a bouquet from a centerpiece on a guest table.

doing a special exit

There are lots of different ways to do a send-off, but only a handful photograph the best. And you can do these for the ceremony recessional as well as the end-of-day send-off!

Personally, sparklers are my favorite. Glow wands don’t really photograph very well, bubbles can get in the way of getting the focus point (keep bubbles for day-time), confetti can be great (but make sure you have a clean-up team), and rice is best-kept day-time, as well. And if you have ever seen smoke-bombs, they can be really cool! But many venues don’t allow these, either.

Some venues don’t allow sparklers, so just ask ahead of time. But if you get the green light for sparklers, make sure to get the longest sparklers you can find. The short ones burn out quickly. Another great help for lighting those sparklers is a butane torch.

Weddings have a lot of moving parts. Check here for more commonly asked questions.

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